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Find your H.A.P.P.Y

Its something I used to tell my kids to do when I would send them to time-out LOL. They hated it. I remember #2 used to hate when I would say it.... "YOU CANT FIND HAPPY, ITS NOT A THING, SO IM STILL GONNA BE MAD!" To this day, she is my most stubborn, hard headed, strong willed one. But there is truth to this saying, and now that they are older, I think they are starting to grasp the concept.


I used to think that I needed someone to make me happy, or even things to make me happy. But as I started on this journey of independence and self discovery, i've learned that I am the one solely responsible for my own happiness. I learned that every day I had a choice to make, either be happy despite all that goes on around me, or not. As I conversed with new people and started to read self help books, there was something I saw and heard repeatedly, "we can't control people, places or things, only our reactions".... duh! It's so incredibly obvious, but life happens and how quickly we get caught up in life, we don't realize we are stressed, sad depressed, mad or what not, over things we literally have ZERO control over. So that being said, no matter what goes on around me or within me, I'm the now who gets to choose to be happy or not. When that sunk it, my whole perception on EVERYTHING changed. I began to learn about protecting my peace and not giving it away to anyone. At first it was hard as hell and thanks to some very dear friends, they would check me and remind me I had no control over the situation, only how I handled it and perceived it. But as times goes on, I catch myself (most of the time) and realize I can be happy no matter what, so long as that's what I want and choose.


The biggest take away from learning to FIND MY HAPPY is being able to pass this amazing tool off to my tiny humans. Life in these days is so challenging and the more tools I can give them to help them live their best life, the better. And this is a huge one for me. Whats even more amazing, is noticing the positive changes in them from them seeing me and how im living my life now.


The momma they see now, compared to the one they've had all along was not happy. I lived for everyone else to be happy and lost myself in the process. I had no voice. I was emotionally, mentally and verbally abused so much I thought that it was just life, so I needed to suck it up and soldier on. F**K that babe! So not the case. Everyone deserves to be happy and live their best life. (and you better believe I speak up about abuse now because contrary to what my ex spouts off, abuse is not just physical--- we will get back to this subject later on!)


Im not gonna lie, I definitely have days when I cannot get myself to be happy. On those days, when im in a valley, I have learned to let myself ride through the valley, but not for too long. If I can't get myself out of it, I have no shame in seeking out help either. I have one hell of a tribe of amazing humans that are my go-to when I need help or want to share amazing parts of my life. But if you don't have a tribe, which I didn't always have, don't forget the power of prayer. I have always believed in God and I have prayed on and off through out my life, but I have turned to God more in the past 2 years, than I ever have. the result, I fell so much closer to Him and I feel more at peace. The best way to describe my experience in getting closer to God is beautiful. Its been such a blessed, beautiful journey.


So love, find your happy! Don't rely on anyone or anything to make you happy, because you'll be quite disappointed. Instead, learn how to maintain your own happiness and then, share that happiness. In turn, you will bring yourself even more happiness by spreading it! Sounds corny, I know, but its so true!


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